Goals!

This year has been incredibly stressful for our family, as I mentioned in a previous post, with the challenges we’ve faced regarding Korbin. Thankfully, Elsie is doing well academically, but we’re now faced with the decision of her transitioning her to a different school next year due to the administration at the middle/high school that Korbin experienced. Given our concerns about how the middle school/High School administration handles situations—failing to adequately protect victims—we are seriously considering alternative options for Elsie.

Despite the stress, I know it’s important to set personal goals to stay grounded and motivated. While I teach 10–12 fitness classes per week, those classes are designed for my participants, not for my own growth. To refocus on my personal goals, I’ve decided to challenge myself with a series of events this year. I plan to complete a marathon at the end of each month I will document my running starting today (I haven’t been running at all) and, in October, take on the Fall 50. Leading up to that, I’ll tackle a 40-mile mountain bike ride in September and another mountain biking event locally.

Looking further ahead, my sights are set on the Norseman Triathlon in 2026—a highly challenging event with a lottery-based entry. It’s a long-term goal that excites and motivates me.

“Setting goals is essential in life.” Without them, it’s easy to lose focus and become overwhelmed by everything else. Remember, you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively care for others. Prioritize yourself—you’re worth it.

This is the first e-mail I sent on November 8, 2024

This was sent to 10 people with administration. 

Our children have been attending the same school since grade school, and during that time, they’ve built friendships and gained so much knowledge. However, as middle school began, one of our children started to struggle with reading and math. The school initially offered support to help him catch up, but as he got older, we noticed a troubling pattern: he became a target for bullying because he wasn’t performing academically at the same level as some of his peers. We raised these concerns with the (past) principal at the time, but unfortunately, nothing was done, and the issue was brushed aside. Thankfully, by the end of that school year, the bullying subsided somewhat. Things seemed to turn around when our son’s passion for hockey and baseball. He truly thrived and enjoyed every moment of it. But when football season began during his freshman year, the excitement he felt quickly turned into dread. Despite loving the practices and the coaches, the bullying resurfaced, this time coming from kids he had grown up with. We immediately reported it to a teacher and the new principal, who took swift action. Even with the school’s intervention, we noticed a shift in our son’s attitude. He seemed withdrawn and unhappy. After some digging, we discovered that he was being targeted for his friendship with an 8th-grade girl he had known for years. His peers started name-calling and making cruel comments. Thankfully, our son stood up for himself and confronted them, stating that real friends wouldn’t treat him that way. However, instead of resolving the issue, it escalated, and he endured several tough weeks afterward. Then, about a week ago, something even more troubling happened. Two football players took our son’s phone out of his lunch box (without his knowledge) in the boys’ locker room and recorded themselves returning his phone to a locker positioned outward recording video footage of students changing into workout clothes. This was a serious invasion of privacy, and it added a tremendous amount of stress to our already overwhelmed son.

Upon discovering this video, I immediately contacted a trusted advisor (who works at the school) and the police department. After reviewing the situation, they concluded that while no one was physically harmed, it was serious enough to warrant further investigation. We were advised to gather more information before taking immediate legal action, so we brought it to the school’s attention first. The next day, I sat down with the principal and showed him the evidence. He was visibly shocked by what he saw, writing down the names of the kids who had taken the phone. We had a police officer come in to document the videos, using her own camera to record them directly from my phone due to the sensitive nature of the footage. Leaving that meeting, I was hopeful the school would do the right thing. After all, the students had violated both school policy and the Athletic Code of Conduct that every parent and student signs before participating in sports. To my disbelief, no immediate disciplinary action was taken, as I had talked to the school later that day. I will note I was in the office at 7:37am. The students involved—a sophomore and a junior—were still allowed to play in the football game that night. That weekend was a nightmare for our family. Our son was devastated, knowing that those responsible for invading his privacy faced no real consequences.

By Monday afternoon, my husband and I were back in the principal’s office, this time with the police officer present. We pressed the school on why they weren’t upholding the Code of Conduct, the Athletic Code, and other school policies. They informed us that they had created a “contract” for the two boys, outlining some vague guidelines they would need to follow. When we asked for specifics, they refused to disclose any details. Essentially, instead of enforcing the established codes of conduct, the school chose to implement a new, undefined “learning pathway” for these students, without notifying any parents of these changes. It felt like a complete disregard for the rules and a slap in the face to everyone who trusted the system to hold students accountable. At this point, it became clear that the school was not going to protect our son. The lack of accountability, the absence of an apology from the students involved, and the way other kids began to treat our son differently pushed us to make a heartbreaking decision.

For the sake of his mental health and our own, we are heavily considering withdrawing him from the school. It’s devastating, especially since this school prides itself on its values, community focus, and dedication to student welfare. This entire experience has shattered our faith in the school’s commitment to its principles. Our son deserves to be in an environment where he feels safe, supported, and valued. We are sharing our story not just for our family but for other families who might be silently suffering in similar situations. Schools must be held accountable for their promises, and parents deserve to know that their concerns will be addressed seriously and with integrity. Our kids deserve better, and it’s time for schools to prioritize the well-being and safety of every student they serve. I’m sharing this story because it’s been a tough journey for our family, and I believe in the importance of addressing bullying and standing up for what’s right.

Thank You we look forward to further discussion.

Blane and Danniela Neher

I have had people ask me why we took our son out of Aquinas

 This is my notes of what had happened

On October 31, 2024, my son Korbin stayed home from school because he had a headache. During the day, I decided to check his phone because he had previously faced challenges at Aquinas High School that had raised concerns. When I reviewed his phone, I found a video of two students I didn’t recognize playing with his phone. One of them said, “Let’s do this.”

Another video showed the students putting Korbin’s phone back in his lunchbox and positioning the camera to face outward through the mesh pocket. This setup allowed the phone to record about 27 minutes of footage of students in the locker room as they changed for a sporting event or PE class. Since the phone was hidden in Korbin’s lunchbox, no one knew they were being recorded except the two students involved. The recording started at 2:47 PM during school hours, and it seemed like these students had skipped study hall to do this.

I was shocked and contacted a trusted teacher, sharing a screenshot of the video and asking for help identifying the students. I didn’t know one of them. The teacher told me that one student was a junior on the football team, and the other was a sophomore (which I knew) who was also on the football team. After confirming their identities, I reported the incident to the local police department because it involved the illegal recording of students in a private space without their consent. I felt like I was dealing with something serious, like child pornography (since the kids were changing in the video). The responding officer assured me that there was no immediate danger and that they would handle the matter the next morning.

The next morning, I met with the school principal at 7:37 AM. I presented the evidence and discussed the situation. However, a different officer was in training, so the officer I had called arrived. The principal was shocked by the footage, especially the deliberate actions of the students, whom intentionally hid Korbin’s phone back in his lunch box. Subsequent investigations revealed that six students have been recorded while changing in the locker room.

Given the seriousness of the incident, I expected the two students responsible to face immediate suspension. However, later that day, around 2:30 PM, I was informed that they would not be suspended and would return to school on Monday. They would also be allowed to continue participating in sports, including a crucial football game that would determine the team’s advancement to the championship. This decision deeply concerned me because it violated multiple provisions of the school’s handbook and the athletic code of conduct, which all parents and students are required to sign before participating in school sports.

That evening, I received a message from a teacher, stating that a parent had questioned why the two students were suspended. The teacher asked for permission to share what had happened, which I granted. However, I later received another message stating that the two students were still allowed to play. Upon further investigation, I discovered that (MSK) had made the decision to let them participate. I couldn’t believe it!

On Saturday, I reached out to friends at Aquinas to learn more about this MSK. A friend helped me find his number, and I left a message requesting a meeting. He called me back about an hour later and invited me to his home. I shared the details of the incident and asked why he allowed the two students to play.

He explained that he had asked two questions: (1) Was the act intentional? and (2) Were the students suspended? Both answers, he said, were “no.” I expressed my disappointment, pointing out that it was impossible to determine intent at that stage since the police investigation was not yet complete. I also questioned whom he had consulted regarding the suspension—whether it was the principal, a teacher, or a parent because I heard from the teacher they were suspended.

MSK assured me that an investigation had been conducted and emphasized the Catholic Church’s high standards for student safety.

I then shared my experience as a PE teacher and cross-country coach at the school, where I underwent training based on the Catholic Church’s red and green handbooks. These handbooks emphasize the responsibility of teachers, coaches, and administrators to protect students and strictly adhere to policies. I expressed my concern that by allowing the students to play without fully understanding the situation or enforcing the school’s policies, he had failed to protect the students involved, including my son.

The following Monday, my husband and I met with the school administration for about 40-50 minutes. They informed us that instead of enforcing existing policies, the school planned to implement “contracts” for the students. These contracts stipulated that the kids would write apology letters to Korbin or have discussions with him. I was still upset with the situation and how the school had handled it. I also expressed my concerns that they were allowing the actions of what these two athletes of what they did in the locker room, and how they treated Korbin after they fact of what had happened, they should be treated the same as everyone else. Policies are established for a reason!

Leaving the school, we talked about what had happened and how disgusted we were with their decision. However, because Korbin was at school we were waiting to see if those kids apologized to Korbin, after football practice, we learned that they did not. On Tuesday, we found that there had been no apologies. This continued on Wednesday, and we were deeply troubled by the lack of remorse. I had actually called the school one time to have discussion with the principal on this and let him know what was going on at the school however, he did not call me back as my husband had also called and there was no callback from the principal.

Considering the three days of Korbin’s mental health struggles, the treatment he received from this school, and his pierces along with the messages he received, we decided to remove him from school immediately.

Bronze Sunshine!

I’m so excited to receive this!!
Completing in the Ironman 210.9 last September in Madison (which is a half Ironman on Saturday and the Full Ironman on Sunday) and earning the Bronze All-World Athlete recognition is truly an honor. I feel incredibly grateful for what I’m able to accomplish. As I look ahead, I’m excited to explore new challenges—mountain biking, running, perhaps even a marathon each month. Who knows what this year will bring? It’s time for a new chapter and new goals.
#ironmanathlete #awathlete #ironman210. #ironsunshine #itonmantri #marathon #mtbtraining #letsdothis #accomplissement #blessed #whatsnext