This was sent to 10 people with administration.
Our children have been attending the same school since grade school, and during that time, they’ve built friendships and gained so much knowledge. However, as middle school began, one of our children started to struggle with reading and math. The school initially offered support to help him catch up, but as he got older, we noticed a troubling pattern: he became a target for bullying because he wasn’t performing academically at the same level as some of his peers. We raised these concerns with the (past) principal at the time, but unfortunately, nothing was done, and the issue was brushed aside. Thankfully, by the end of that school year, the bullying subsided somewhat. Things seemed to turn around when our son’s passion for hockey and baseball. He truly thrived and enjoyed every moment of it. But when football season began during his freshman year, the excitement he felt quickly turned into dread. Despite loving the practices and the coaches, the bullying resurfaced, this time coming from kids he had grown up with. We immediately reported it to a teacher and the new principal, who took swift action. Even with the school’s intervention, we noticed a shift in our son’s attitude. He seemed withdrawn and unhappy. After some digging, we discovered that he was being targeted for his friendship with an 8th-grade girl he had known for years. His peers started name-calling and making cruel comments. Thankfully, our son stood up for himself and confronted them, stating that real friends wouldn’t treat him that way. However, instead of resolving the issue, it escalated, and he endured several tough weeks afterward. Then, about a week ago, something even more troubling happened. Two football players took our son’s phone out of his lunch box (without his knowledge) in the boys’ locker room and recorded themselves returning his phone to a locker positioned outward recording video footage of students changing into workout clothes. This was a serious invasion of privacy, and it added a tremendous amount of stress to our already overwhelmed son.
Upon discovering this video, I immediately contacted a trusted advisor (who works at the school) and the police department. After reviewing the situation, they concluded that while no one was physically harmed, it was serious enough to warrant further investigation. We were advised to gather more information before taking immediate legal action, so we brought it to the school’s attention first. The next day, I sat down with the principal and showed him the evidence. He was visibly shocked by what he saw, writing down the names of the kids who had taken the phone. We had a police officer come in to document the videos, using her own camera to record them directly from my phone due to the sensitive nature of the footage. Leaving that meeting, I was hopeful the school would do the right thing. After all, the students had violated both school policy and the Athletic Code of Conduct that every parent and student signs before participating in sports. To my disbelief, no immediate disciplinary action was taken, as I had talked to the school later that day. I will note I was in the office at 7:37am. The students involved—a sophomore and a junior—were still allowed to play in the football game that night. That weekend was a nightmare for our family. Our son was devastated, knowing that those responsible for invading his privacy faced no real consequences.
By Monday afternoon, my husband and I were back in the principal’s office, this time with the police officer present. We pressed the school on why they weren’t upholding the Code of Conduct, the Athletic Code, and other school policies. They informed us that they had created a “contract” for the two boys, outlining some vague guidelines they would need to follow. When we asked for specifics, they refused to disclose any details. Essentially, instead of enforcing the established codes of conduct, the school chose to implement a new, undefined “learning pathway” for these students, without notifying any parents of these changes. It felt like a complete disregard for the rules and a slap in the face to everyone who trusted the system to hold students accountable. At this point, it became clear that the school was not going to protect our son. The lack of accountability, the absence of an apology from the students involved, and the way other kids began to treat our son differently pushed us to make a heartbreaking decision.
For the sake of his mental health and our own, we are heavily considering withdrawing him from the school. It’s devastating, especially since this school prides itself on its values, community focus, and dedication to student welfare. This entire experience has shattered our faith in the school’s commitment to its principles. Our son deserves to be in an environment where he feels safe, supported, and valued. We are sharing our story not just for our family but for other families who might be silently suffering in similar situations. Schools must be held accountable for their promises, and parents deserve to know that their concerns will be addressed seriously and with integrity. Our kids deserve better, and it’s time for schools to prioritize the well-being and safety of every student they serve. I’m sharing this story because it’s been a tough journey for our family, and I believe in the importance of addressing bullying and standing up for what’s right.
Thank You we look forward to further discussion.
Blane and Danniela Neher
